Cast iron or cast me off a cliff

It's entirely likely that you own a cast iron pan, or if you don't perhaps your parents do, and if they don't then your grandparents do, and if they don't I don't even know where to go from here.

Cast iron pans are an immensely versatile asset to add to your kitchenware collection. They are the cookware (or melee weapon) of choice for Yankee great-great-grandmothers and cowboys alike; they also make for handy bulletproof wear in a pinch (please don't actually try this at home). You can use them for anything and everything. From baking breads, to searing steaks, to frying eggs, to beating your sworn enemies to a pulp, they are a necessity in every cook's kitchen.

What is Cast Iron?

According to Wikipedia (the source of all sources that teachers of every grade around the country sneer at unjustifiably; "AnYonE cAn EDit tHe PaGEs"), cast iron is "a group of iron-carbon alloys with a carbon content of greater than 2%." How riveting. For us idiots (myself included), cast iron is basically molten iron and steel with some other chemicals poured into a mold shaped like a pan, then bada bing bada boom, cast iron pan. And if that is too much for your smooth brain to handle, then metal + fire + shape = cooking.

You can make anything from cast iron. Waffle irons, griddles, woks, Dutch ovens (not what you're thinking, you juvenile), and of course the classic pan. Plus it has brilliant health benefits. Yes, that's right. Cooking with cast iron makes you healthier. How you might ask? Science. When you cook in a cast iron pan, some of the iron leaches out into your meal. So if you're an sickly anemic with an iron deficiency (perhaps because of your veganism...), then start cooking your food in cast iron. 

Cooking with Cast Iron

Admittedly there should probably be a class on how to properly cook with cast iron (i.e. Home Ec?). Breaking into the cast iron game ain't easy. Well, actually it is. But just a bit harrowing the first time around.

Cast iron needs to be seasoned before you use it. If you are the type of person to follow directions one by one as you go along instead of reading all the way through before starting, stop shaking salt and pepper onto your pan, you Neanderthal. By seasoning I mean combining oil/fat with your metal pan into a sort of DIY nonstick surface. It's easy. Simply scrub your new pan - or better yet the ancient rusty chunk of metal your fore bearers passed down to you - with steel wool and dish soap. Once you've scraped away all the dust, rust, and must, rinse it off and dry it completely. Cast iron rusts easily, so every drop of water needs to be removed. Throw that thing in a Dyson hand dryer if you need to (or just put it on the stove for a few minutes). Now you've got a clean cast iron pan. Coat that bad boy in some oil, like every single nook and cranny. The cooking surface, the handle, even the bottom of it. Use canola, vegetable, flaxseed, or baby oil (kidding). Then bake that bad mama jama (I am so white...) in a wicked hot oven for around an hour. Let it cool down before you go and grab it like a toddler with a dearth of understanding of hot objects. There you have it. A seasoned cast iron pan, now you can cook.

When you begin cooking, your pan will need to be slowly heated. So don't plop it straight onto the hottest setting your stove goes to. Be gentle and tender with it, like you would a lover (please don't look at your pan that way). Set the heat low and work your way up to a nice high heat. Cast iron retains heat brilliantly, so once it has absorbed a good amount of heat it will stay that way for a while. Even if you properly seasoned your pan, it may take some time for a real serious seasoning to build up. Unlike most other tools in your kitchen, cast iron gets better with age. So cook up some nice fatty bacon or the like and your pan will come to love you (or at least stick less).

Cast iron pans have the wonderful ability to work both on your stove and in your oven. Start a dish on top the stove (sear a steak perhaps for a crunchy and delicious fond-y crust), then finish it in the oven (get that steak to a beautiful medium-rare; I will stand by my decision to say medium-rare). If you cook your steak to well-done, just throw it out and take a bit of the pan instead, you heathen.

Once you've finished cooking whatever it was that was graced by the ebon surface of your cast iron pan, be sure to wash it properly. DO. NOT. PUT IT. IN THE DISHWASHER. Seriously. I once came home to my Boston apartment to find my cast iron pan placed in the dishwasher by an oblivious roommate. Thankfully I rescued it before my seasoning was ruined. Washing cast iron is easier than you might expect. Ensure the pan is still a bit warm (not screaming hot and not ice cold with all the food stuck to it), and run it under warm/hot water. There are numerous schools of thought on proper cast iron washing technique. I vary dependent on what I cooked. But typically a bit of salt and warm water scrub works fine. Coarse salt acts to exfoliate your pan of the oils used to cook on it. Cowboys apparently just used some sand to clean it off. If it's really dirty, use a tiny bit of a mild dish soap (come crucify me, cast iron purists). Again get it nice and dry (rust = bad), then rub it down with a light coat of oil to ensure it doesn't rust.

Hopefully you are no longer intimidated by cast iron. They are handy pans that last forever (chances are the pan you inherited from your Yankee great-great-great grandmother was used to beat Confederate soldiers into submission). Get out there and cook yourself a delicious steak (or tofu thing?) on your newly seasoned cast iron pan.