You should smell better than you do

Returning from a weekend away in Boston, where I took advantage of the generous sample policy of multiple Sephoras as well as visited Le Labo on Newbury Street, I should like to write a bit on scents and fragrances.
How we smell can easily alter how we are viewed by those around us. Whether it is your coworkers in the break room grimacing at your combination of over sprayed Axe and reheated tuna melt or the cute girl at the bar who noticed that enticing new cologne you adventured to wear, the smells that make up our lives have great bearing on our personal image and how we are perceived.

So whether you are the kind of person content with a splash of Aqua Velva and the remnants of Marlboro Reds hanging on you or the person who endlessly searches the depths of the Dark Web for the perfect batch of Creed Aventus, take a quick read on why you should smell better than you do.

My First "Colognes"

I shamefully admit that I was once an avid user of Axe body spray, that aerosol effluvium that permeates middle and high school locker rooms around the globe. A passing comment by a pretty girl only served to reinforce my usage of that noxious junk, though I soon altered course to slightly better scents (in honesty I must thank Axe for being the catalyst for my journey into the wide world of fragrance).

Obsessed for a time with the image of retro masculinity, I eagerly bought into the hype of old-school Old Spice (whose tagline implies it was the cause for your grandfather getting laid, so try not to think of your grandmother when you wear it). Through blogs like The Art of Manliness (whose articles I still read on occasion and with greater forethought) and shows like Mad Men, I began fancying myself capable of becoming the picturesque man's man (that has worked out swimmingly...). Fortunately I never ventured into the pitfalls of Stetson and Brut, though for quite some time I reeked of Old Spice Classic and Wolfthorn (like every other teenage guy, I fell for their quirky and cool marketing campaigns like a fat kid for cake).

The very first bottle of real cologne I ever received was a bottle of Black by Pierre Cardin. A monstrous black phallus of a bottle topped with a bulbous chrome dome, it smelled of slightly musky citrus and bargain alcohol. In truth, not a terrible scent but not one I would eagerly reuse. A quick check of my bathroom closet revealed the fugitive fragrance and all its nostalgia. The bottle was a gift from my mother for Valentine's Day one year in early high school (hence why the man's man image did not work out well).

My next fragrance was bought during a Father's Day special at a perfume chain: Nautica Voyage. The dreadfully over-used cologne was, and still is, the J. Crew catalogue of the fragrance world. The cloying sweetness combines with an ultra-aquatic and green accord to bring forth images of pastel-colored shorts, boat shoes, and sons of lawyers. I still have half a bottle of this stuff lying in a drawer, waiting for the day it will resurface alongside seersucker shirts and marlin-printed pants. Despite all my modern grievances against it, it was the cologne that opened the door to popular cologne brands and one that I abused no matter the season (please don't wear this stuff in the winter; no one wants to hear about your father's yacht when it's 23 degrees out).

With all that said, enough about me. Let's talk about you.

It's Part of the Outfit

A cologne or a perfume completes the outfit you are wearing. It is an invisible extension of your fashion sense that strikes a different human sense. Do not make the mistake of clashing how you smell with how you dress. Don't show up to sophomore year of high school wearing ripped jeans and a Supreme tee while basking in the aroma of Guerlain Habit Rouge; you will stand out, but not in a good way. Likewise, don't be the guy who attends an interview for the position of accountant after bathing yourself in YSL Kouros. You're a CPA, not an 80s Miami coke dealer.

Your scent should not announce itself to those in a room, it should be noticed when someone gets close enough to you. We all have horror stories dancing close to a guy at the club with an undercut, too much jewelry, and clearly doused in Paco Rabanne 1 Million. Be subtle and gentle with your scent. Let it be discovered. Tailor it to who you are and where you are.

Naturally I urge you to take this advice with a grain of salt. I am no expert (despite my usage of big words and blatant pretentiousness). In a previous post I mentioned that James Dean was infamous for his use of Knize Ten, a cologne that inspires thoughts of tweed jackets and leather-bound encyclopedias, not hot-shot 20 year old racing fiends. Yet he pulled it off. He went against the nature of the scent and reincarnated it into his own making. Can you do this too? Yes. But probably not well.

So what scent do I use?

This is the million dollar question. I could tell you to read perfume blogs, browse through hundreds of pages of base notes and accords, watch YouTube reviews on the best of the best, spend hundreds of dollars on ultra-niche fragrances. But none of that would really matter if YOU didn't like the smell.

If you want to find the right scent for yourself, your signature stench, get out there and start smelling. Go to perfume shops and try everything they allow you to. Go to department stores and get as many samples as they'll allow (which more oft than not is more than you would expect). Take someone with you for a second opinion (guys, take a girl with you, not your friend's roommate Travis who wears drug rugs and follows Phish around the country; girls, take another girl with you or a trusted guy friend, also don't take Travis).

Discover the notes you enjoy the most. Don't let others get you hung up on what season you should wear it, or what time of day you should wear it, or how warm or cold out it needs to be (though these are all important things to think about). Maybe you're the kind of person who enjoys warm, spicy oud and incense and sandalwood, the scents of Morocco and the Far East. Or perhaps you want to inspire mental images of the ocean, of refreshing breezes, of citrus fruits and sea salt. Some of you can bring to life the likeness of a garage with gasoline and smoke (really, there are colognes for this). Whatever you want to smell like, you can smell like it. It's just a matter of whether or not you can pull it off.

Smell Better

Please stop being the person who refuses to smell nice; and not just nice, but like really nice. The scent of Irish Spring soap and Degree deodorant is a welcome reprieve from those who embody the odor of an anime convention, but you can do so much better.

Get out there and buy a bottle of your first cologne. I will not foot the bill, but I sure as hell will compliment you next time I give you a hug.